My Journey of Healing and Rebuilding Myself After a Toxic Marriage and Divorce Swipe left. Swipe right. “Perfect match,” or at least that’s what I thought. I met my ex-wife on the Tinder app on August 31st, 2014. Our journey from marriage to starting a family seemed more than just normal, it was perfect, despite the negative stories associated with online dating. We were in love, and everything that typically strengthens a marriage seemed present. However, every relationship hits a rough patch once the honeymoon phase ends, and hidden issues begin to surface. While I wouldn’t claim to be a perfect husband, I realized that our relationship had become toxic. Manipulation, threats, gaslighting, and pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable and normal had taken a toll on me. These tactics slowly broke me down, until I hardly recognized myself anymore.
Life, love, marriage, and kids bring their own challenges, which can become overwhelming. External pressures from family and culture added to my emotional distress, causing a fog of confusion. As a man, societal stereotypes and the expectation to be the stable foundation of the family made it difficult for me to acknowledge what was right and to recognize the wrongs that had become normalized.
Get out of the fog. Hold them accountable. Heal. It was time to get out of the fog and retreat. I had the privilege to go away in a Spring 2023 Retreat that would continue to resonate with me to this day. Healing was my goal, and during that week-long Ayahuasca retreat, I experienced a profound transformation that made me happier and healthier. For years, I struggled with overwhelm, anxiety, and sleepless nights. While traditional therapy helped, it didn’t fully address my trauma. After a few sessions, I realized I needed a different approach.
Later that year, in 2023, I stumbled upon a YouTube coach organizing an Ayahuasca retreat. I had heard about Ayahuasca through Joe Rogan’s podcasts and discovered its psychological benefits for PTSD and childhood trauma, which deeply resonated with me. I felt compelled to rewire my mind, and Ayahuasca seemed to offer the answer. The experience was intense. The ceremonies took place in a circular temple with about 20 people, led by a shaman, over three nights.
For those familiar with Ayahuasca, the process involves “purging,” which means releasing stored negative energy and often trauma from childhood—something many people are unfortunately unaware of.
Everyone have a puke bucket between their legs, and while most participants purged, I was “lucky” enough to experience only vomiting, sweating, yawning, and crying—all forms of purging. After the second night, I tapped into deep emotions that I had long suppressed. I truly believe this ceremony helped release much of the pain from my unstable childhood
During the peak of the second ceremony, memories of my two boys back home in Minnesota flooded my mind, overwhelming me with feelings of pain, guilt, and intense love. I missed them immensely and cried deeply—an incredibly cathartic release. I revisited childhood memories and mourned the loss of the person I thought I had married—the mother of my boys. The retreat gave me the momentum and healing to repair the broken parts of me that had accepted abuse.
This moment of clarity and becoming a “Light Worker.” August 31st holds a significant place in my heart. That was the day I met my ex wife and was the same day, exactly 10 years later, I faced one of the toughest decisions of my life: moving out of our family home and parting ways with my wife, the mother of my two children, after eight years of marriage. Just three days later, I had to break the news to my mom, which led to an emotional conversation that caught me completely off guard. I found myself weeping as I told her about the divorce, overwhelmed by the thought of not being with my boys every day.
August 31st, 2023 —exactly ten years later—I made the pivotal decision to break up our family and get a divorce after an incident that was so unethical, I considered involving the authorities.
Moving out just four weeks later marked the beginning of a transformative journey. Life improved dramatically, and I began to rediscover myself through solitude and introspection. My health normalized, I became a better dad, and I surrounded myself with positive influences that helped me grow into a more loving and open individual. This process has revealed my true self, and I’ve realized that I’m not alone; there’s a whole community of people facing similar challenges. My eight-year marriage, though it ended, became a catalyst for learning, creating awareness, and supporting others in similar situations. This moment of clarity gave me a 6th sense, to help me predict behaviors and future attacks, wich sparked the idea of “Light Worker.”
The “Light Worker” Community & App - Coming Soon
The “Light Worker” brand is devoted to raising awareness about trauma and abuse within relationships while offering coaching and resources to individuals navigating similar challenges. Often, ex-spouses utilize the divorce system as leverage to inflict mental harm, even involving their own children. This global issue necessitates widespread awareness, and our brand aims to reach and support as many individuals as possible. We are excited to introduce the upcoming “Light Worker” app. Although my own traumatic experience began with an app, this new platform aims to transform lives, particularly for men AND women who may be dealing with similar struggles. The app is designed to facilitate the divorce process by maintaining all communication via text, except in emergencies, thus ensuring a record of interactions. This vigilance and organization can help identify and document covert gaslighting and manipulation tactics used by abusers, holding them accountable and reducing abuse. By rewarding users for good, non-combative behavior and for acting as de-escalators, the app can significantly aid their healing process and also provide substantial leverage in court,
ultimately saving time and legal fees. In addition, it offers therapy and health services from carefully selected experts who have personally assisted me in my journey. The app covers crucial topics such as narcissism, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), co-parenting and family laws. It provides guidance on navigating the dating world, recognizing red flags, and avoiding toxic relationships.
can connect with fellow survivors, receive mutual support, and access therapy services tailored to their specific needs. The app is not just for those currently in abusive relationships or undergoing a divorce; it is a comprehensive resource for personal healing and empowerment.
can connect with fellow survivors, receive mutual support, and access therapy services tailored to their specific needs. The app is not just for those currently in abusive relationships or undergoing a divorce; it is a comprehensive resource for personal healing and empowerment.
● Dealing with an entitled ex-spouse?
● Alienated from your children?
● Experiencing a violation of the divorce decree?
● Feeling lost and purposeless in life?
● Constantly anxious and worried (PTSD)?
● Tired of frequent fights with your ex about everything?
● Facing attempts to build a false narrative to harm you?
● Experiencing asset withholding or hidden money?
● Dealing with threats of court battles and your kids being used as pawns?
● Facing smear campaigns?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. WE CAN HELP.
The “Light Worker” resource community and app is a safe haven for individuals facing similar challenges. Our community provides support, resources, and guidance to empower survivors through their healing journey. Subscribe to get notified of its release! Together, we can break the cycle of abuse and promote healthy relationships built on mutual respect, understanding, and love. Join us in creating a brighter future for ourselves and generations to come. Swipe left on abusive relationships and swipe right on healing and empowerment with the “Light Worker” app.
can connect with fellow survivors, receive mutual support, and access therapy services tailored to their specific needs. The app is not just for those currently in abusive relationships or undergoing a divorce; it is a comprehensive resource for personal healing and empowerment.
can connect with fellow survivors, receive mutual support, and access therapy services tailored to their specific needs. The app is not just for those currently in abusive relationships or undergoing a divorce; it is a comprehensive resource for personal healing and empowerment.
